I used to rely on commercial proxy subscriptions.
过去很长一段时间里，我一直使用商业代理订阅。
They were convenient.
Pay for a plan, import the configuration, and everything was ready to use.
它们确实很方便。
付款、导入订阅，然后就可以开始使用，几乎不需要了解服务器、Linux 或网络配置。
But convenience was not the whole story.
但方便并不代表它永远是最适合我的选择。
A typical subscription cost around 40 RMB per month, or about 300 RMB per year.
我接触到的订阅服务，月付价格通常在 40 元左右，年付套餐大约需要 300 元。
That price was not unreasonable.
The problem was that I was only renting temporary access to someone else's infrastructure.
这个价格本身不算昂贵。
真正的问题在于，我购买的只是一段时间内的使用资格，而不是任何真正属于我的东西。
The server was not mine.
The nodes were not mine.
The routing, logs, limits, and future of the service were all controlled by someone else.
服务器不属于我，节点不属于我，线路、日志、流量限制以及服务能否继续运营，也都不由我决定。
The provider could replace a node, change its rules, limit traffic, or disappear entirely.
And providers disappearing with prepaid subscription fees is not exactly unheard of.
服务商可以随时更换线路、修改规则或者限制流量。
它也可能在某一天停止运营，而用户提前支付的长期套餐往往不会跟着回来。
My current VPS costs about 240 RMB per year.
我现在使用的 VPS，一年的费用大约是 240 元。
It is cheaper than many yearly subscriptions, but the more important difference is that it is not limited to running Hysteria.
它比不少商业订阅的年费还低，但更重要的是，这台服务器并不只用来运行 Hysteria。
The same server can host my personal website, Nginx, HTTPS certificates, Docker containers, network tools, backups, and future projects.
同一台服务器还可以承载我的个人网站、Nginx、HTTPS、Docker 容器、网络测试工具、备份，以及以后可能部署的其他项目。
Hysteria is only one small service running on it.
In a way, it is almost a side effect of already owning a VPS.
Hysteria 只是这台服务器上的一项小服务。
甚至可以说，在我已经拥有 VPS 的情况下，搭建代理节点只是顺手完成的事情。
So this was never simply about saving 60 RMB every year.
It was about getting far more value from the same amount of money.
因此，我选择自建并不只是为了每年节省几十元。
更重要的是，我用相近甚至更低的成本，获得了一台用途更广、能够由自己控制的远程服务器。
Commercial services may have better routes.
They may offer lower latency, higher bandwidth, and better performance during peak hours.
商业服务通常拥有更好的线路，也可能提供更低的延迟、更高的带宽，以及更稳定的晚高峰体验。
A normal VPS does not automatically outperform a professional service.
我购买的普通 VPS，并不会因为是自己搭建的，就突然拥有比专业服务商更好的网络质量。
But speed was not my only concern.
但速度并不是我唯一关心的事情。
With a commercial subscription, I could never fully know who operated the server, how many people shared the same exit IP, or what information was being logged.
使用商业订阅时，我无法真正知道服务器由谁维护、有多少用户共享同一个出口，也无法确认服务商究竟保留了哪些日志。
When something stopped working, my choices were usually limited to switching nodes or waiting for the provider to repair it.
节点出现问题时，我通常只能更换节点，或者等待服务商处理。
With my own server, I can see what is running.
I can choose the port, change the configuration, inspect the logs, and decide how traffic should be routed.
自己搭建之后，我至少知道服务器上运行了什么。
我可以选择端口、修改配置、查看日志，也可以决定哪些流量需要经过服务器，哪些流量继续直连。
When it fails, I can investigate whether the problem comes from the client, the Hysteria process, the firewall, the port, or the network itself.
出现故障时，我也可以自己判断问题究竟来自客户端、Hysteria 进程、防火墙、端口，还是服务器线路。
That control matters more to me than gaining a little extra speed.
对我来说，这种控制权比单纯提高一些速度更加重要。
I also believe that a small private server can fit my security needs better than a large public subscription service.
我也认为，对于我自己的使用规模来说，一台私人服务器更符合我的安全需求。
This is not because I believe my cybersecurity skills are better than those of a professional operations team.
这并不是因为我认为自己的网络安全技术比专业团队更好。
In reality, I knew almost nothing about Linux servers, firewalls, ports, and certificates before I started.
事实上，在开始搭建服务器之前，我对 Linux、端口、防火墙和证书几乎没有系统了解。
A professionally maintained commercial platform may have far better security practices than I do.
一个拥有专业运维团队的商业平台，完全可能拥有比我更加完善的安全策略。
But security is not only about technical ability.
It is also about visibility, scale, and whether anyone considers a target worth noticing.
但安全并不只取决于技术水平。
它也和一个目标的规模、可见度，以及它是否值得被专门关注有关。
I think of it like travelling on a dark national highway at night.
我更愿意把它理解成夜晚行驶在一条黑暗的国道上。
A large truck with all its lights on will always be more noticeable than a person walking beside the road with a bicycle light or a flashlight.
一辆打开全部车灯、体积巨大的卡车，永远比路边拿着骑行灯或者手电筒行走的人更加显眼。
The person is not using advanced stealth technology.
They are simply too small and unimportant for most people to pay attention to.
这并不是因为路人掌握了多么先进的隐身技术。
他只是足够小，小到大多数人根本没有兴趣专门关注他。
Large public services have many users, shared entry points, recognisable traffic patterns, and a much larger presence.
大型公共服务拥有大量用户、固定入口、明显的流量特征，以及远高于个人服务器的存在感。
My VPS has no public subscription service, no large user base, and no unusually high traffic.
我的 VPS 不公开销售订阅，没有庞大的用户数量，也不存在特别高的流量。
It is only one ordinary small server among millions of machines connected to the internet.
它只是互联网中数以百万计的服务器里，很普通的一台小机器。
This is somewhat similar to the idea of a dark forest.
The brighter and larger something becomes, the easier it is to notice.
这多少有些类似于“黑暗森林”的逻辑。
一个目标越庞大、越明亮，就越容易被发现。
Being small does not make my server invisible.
It simply makes it less interesting as a specific target.
规模小并不会让我的服务器真正隐形。
它只是降低了被人专门盯上的价值。
Automated scanners still search the internet constantly.
Weak passwords, outdated software, exposed services, and incorrect firewall rules can compromise a small server just as easily as a large one.
互联网上依然存在大量自动化扫描。
弱密码、过期软件、暴露的服务以及错误的防火墙配置，并不会因为服务器用户少就主动绕开它。
SSH keys, system updates, firewall rules, minimal permissions, and regular checks are still necessary.
SSH 密钥、系统更新、防火墙、最小权限以及定期检查，依然是不能省略的安全措施。
My sense of security does not come from believing that I am better than a commercial provider.
我的安全感并不来自“我的技术比服务商更强”这种不切实际的判断。
It comes from knowing what is running on my server, and from not handing my entire network connection to an unknown third party.
它来自两个更实际的原因：
我知道自己的服务器上运行了什么，也不需要把全部网络连接交给一个无法被我审查的第三方。
Of course, control also means responsibility.
当然，控制权也意味着责任。
I have to maintain the system, renew the server, manage certificates, configure the firewall, and investigate failures myself.
我需要自己维护系统、续费服务器、管理证书、配置防火墙，并在服务出错时亲自排查问题。
There is no customer support team waiting to fix my configuration.
如果是我自己的配置出了问题，也不会有客服替我解决。
But these problems are also what taught me how the system actually works.
但也正是这些问题，让我开始真正理解一台服务器究竟是如何工作的。
Ports, certificates, UDP, DNS, firewalls, and routing were once only abstract technical terms to me.
端口、证书、UDP、DNS、防火墙和路由，曾经都只是一些模糊的技术名词。
After building and maintaining the service myself, they became things I could observe, modify, test, and eventually understand.
在亲自搭建并维护服务之后，它们才逐渐变成了可以观察、修改、测试，并最终理解的系统组成部分。
For someone who only wants a convenient and stable connection, a commercial subscription may still be the better choice.
对于只希望快速获得稳定服务的人来说，购买成熟的商业订阅依然可能是更合适的选择。
It requires less time, less maintenance, and far less troubleshooting.
它不需要维护服务器，也不需要处理各种莫名其妙的故障。
But for me, paying about 300 RMB every year for temporary access to a service that may eventually disappear is not particularly attractive.
但对我来说，每年支付大约 300 元，只获得一份可能随服务商消失而失效的订阅，并不是最有吸引力的方案。
I would rather spend about 240 RMB per year on a VPS that can host my website, my projects, and anything else I decide to build.
我更愿意每年花大约 240 元，租用一台可以承载网站、个人项目以及其他服务的 VPS。
Hysteria is only a small part of it.
Hysteria 只是其中很小的一部分。
It may not have the best route.
It may not be maintained by a professional security team.
它未必拥有最好的线路，也未必具备大型服务商那样专业的维护能力。
But I know what it is doing, why it exists, and who controls it.
但我知道它在运行什么、为什么运行，以及最终由谁决定它的用途。
For me, self-hosting was never only about saving money.
对我而言，自建的价值从来不只是节省费用。
It is about ownership, transparency, and control.
它真正带来的，是所有权、透明度，以及控制权。